Last But Not Least _ Star Wars Edit

As the last embers of the Harry Potter octet of movies faded into the night, I'd planned to share a late supper of leftovers with Alphonse.  We needed a welcome antidote to the post-apocalyptic rubbish on tele and some decent music in the shape of Jools Holland et al would do the job.  As with last year, I'd hoped to slide gently into the New Year by shouting "Hootenanny" just a bit too loudly out of the front door but before Jools had uttered a word, I'd actioned a sudden change of plan the nano-second I spotted Ed Sheeran gear up to play 'Shape of You.'  Noooo! Not again please!!!  Nothing personal against the Ginger One but I've been listening to Gem FM Live to dull the tedium at work since the beginning of December.  They clumsily mixed his music with endless festive classics, and I was ready to run amok in the racking if I heard that tune one more time.  In the nick of time, Alphonse flipped back to Nile Rogers and Chic as they finished off their fabulous set.  Face it folks, disco is back and is The New Black!  I'm not a disco purist though and love his stuff with John Newman, Daft Punk and Laura Mvula too.  Sometime later, I staggered up to bed leaving Alphonse hoovering up a curried selection of meats which were gifted from the party at No36.

Music has definitely played a part in this year's festivities and as I waltzed around the living room, I felt 2017 drift away with the final few bars of the Blue Danube so elegantly broadcast from Vienna.  Definitely I felt that more coffee with a touch of Remy Martin would improve my spirits and extra Nutella on toast had added greatly to the vibe.  Still, it was hard to tear my blingometer away from the lady piccolo player and her spectacular diamond earrings.  These couldn't be purchased from anyone's High Street store as only real diamonds glisten like that when shaken.  Dazzled, I looked away from the screen for a moment attempting to recreate my Grade 5 ballet exams, slipped on a memory foam slipper and twisted my already bruised black'un'blue left knee again.

For a welcome change, this was not a shopping injury but one I'd sustained in the Betwixtmas days.  Sick of hacking ice off the car, I decided to use public transport for a change and head for Market Harborough.  The whole Shire had been afflicted with invisible black ice and I stepped on a sheet of it taking off in the direction of the A47. Instinct told me to 'make a snow plough' with my boots but without tread and with 20/20 hindsight, I should have let go of the umbrella I was gripping onto to keep me dry.  At least it's only one knee and a lorry driver heading East had a good laugh.   When I finally got to Harborough and met my friend-cum-editor under the Grammar School clock, he pointed out the legend engraved on the sundial of St Dionysius's Church. "Improve The Time" it says, which has been adopted as my only New Year's Resolution because I'm a serial waster of the most valuable resource we all take for granted.

Bruises aside I've made two short trips to the Sales; first to buy a much wanted glitzy frock from Debenham's. 'Yay! sorted for 2018' I thought.  Except when I got it home I had Part 1 and was missing Part 2, the underdress, which made it decent to wear in public?  I wondered why the personal shopper in the fitting room gave me a weird sideways look but omitted to say "don't you think it's a bit draughty for this time of year?"  So I returned for a second time in the vain hope they'd found the slip dress.  Not a chance but I've kept Part 1 anyway as the  refund was very welcome and I found a decent substitute in Primani.

On the way back to the carpark, I blew the remains of my refund in Paperchase on more Christmas decorations.  Then, my bird brain having stalled in Crimbo Limbo, I decided to pop into Zara.  Once past the security staff, I bumbled my way to the back in the one-way browsing system and, horrified, found myself humming along to Winds of Change by Scorpion.  Unforgettable as a prog-rock classic, I can remember all the words as it formed a defining moment in my broadcasting career.  I'd chosen this track for a demo tape made for a BBC presenters' course in 1990.  My first choice was Addicted to Love by Robert Palmer, the video so joyously ripped off in Love Actually; I actually missed it this year.  Out in the fresh air, I vowed there'll be no more shopping until I've bought a TARDIS because I'd wasted two hours getting all hot, bothered and buying nothing.

I also wasted an hour with Dr Who and the departure of Peter Capaldi.  Please don't ask me to explain the backstory or nice little touches from past regenerations, not until I've watched the entire back catalogue again from 1963.  Seriously, I've no idea what happened in the Christmas Special but I know it made me sad.  Unlike Star Wars, The Last Jedi.  The critics have been harsh but it was way better than the previous offering; it's funny for a start.  Later, sharing a full-fat cappuccino with Frangipani, we compiled a list of questions which remain unanswered:
- Why doesn't Ben Solo look like either of his parents, at all?
- No-one stops to eat so how do they cope burning 5K calories an hour fighting the baddies?
- Remind me again, who says Benicio del Toro can act?  He was just weirdly playing himself.
- Where did the speeders come from on the salt flats?
- 'Spoiler alert' how did Rose die saving Finn then end up in the rebel base (alive) a bit later?
- Who, unless utterly insane, believes they can "Rule The Galaxy"?  I've spent the whole festive holiday season in a more 'pass the Galaxy' mood so it's not a career choice for me anytime soon.

Tip of the Blog:  Each new year is an open book and already 2018 feels lighter than last year.  And, like my hero Mr Charles Dickens, I have been gifted with limited time to finish two novels.  The story goes that Mr Dickens gave himself six weeks to write a best-seller and his eventual creation was The Christmas Carol and thus I've enjoyed every version, especially with the Muppets and Michael Caine because it is a work of sheer genius.  So, if you don't hear from me for at least six weeks or until the Chinese New Year of the Dog cocks its leg up, I'm aiming exceptionally high in 2018 believe me.

I wish you all the very best for a Happy New Year.

Raven .x.